The guy who created cough drops died last week.
There’ll be no coffin at his funeral.
When you have tuna without your cat.
My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!”
What a weird way to start a conversation..
It is funny but a bit cruel.
Alpacas are way too cute.
What a lovely hat you have, ma’am 🥰 from aww
Cheetahs are shy…
Women call me ugly until they found how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
What do you call a Bee hive with no exits?
the quickest sitter in the west from aww
Hey man, nice shot.
Kangaroos in the snow!
I just asked my husband if he knows what day it is. Scaring men is easy 😂
Everyones a critic.
YEAAAAAAH! from funny
Every single time.
I Guess it was a windy day from funny
What gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Me when I smelled durian. from aww
This dog was supposed to run over and sit in front of its owner.
I introduced my daughter to my boss at work, and she said “daddy, I thought you said she was a dragon?”
Always remember that you are totally unique, just like everyone else.
It takes a lot of guts for Gordon Ramsey to yell at and insult people who are armed with knives and are making the food he will be eating.
The best day to break out of prison would be Halloween.
Girls Scouts is practically a brand name cookie company that gets away with child labor.
Turning up the volume is like zooming in, but with sound.
No one has ever been inside an empty room.
I may look like I am having deep thoughts but 99% of the time I’m thinking about what I am going to eat later.